Note from the Unpaid Editor: An entity calling itself Anonymous addressed the following message to the Rogue Media through our spokesman, Dr. Banjo Kazooie (capncaveman99 at gmail.com). The transmitting account called itself “BTSH Leaks” (which we will be henceforth referring to as BitchyLeaks), using an e-mail address containing a transparent attempt to frame a prominent and frequently controversial cross-fit proponent. (Full disclosure: said cross-fit proponent is currently under investigation for other crimes; however, our unpaid forensic team has evidence of his innocence in this matter.) After some deliberation over what to do with this message, which was quickly termed The Word Salad Communiqué, we have decided to run it in its entirety, unedited, and let the public decide. We will release further details as they emerge.

(Also, this is not an April Fool’s Day joke. The e-mail arrived on March 31.)

Greetings BTSH Media – we are Anonymous.

The full wrath of the BTSH will soon descend upon the Rehabs after the deadliest secret lies of this Deep State agency currently at war with the rest of the league have now been exposed for the entire world to see, and whose next “false flag” terror attack to cover up their crimes may come as soon this coming week. As such, we have taken possession of their trophy, a false medal of their imperialistic ambitions, and will be returning it to the people, be they at the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, or this random roller coaster.

If you do not wish to see this trophy come to harm in the east river or in Sam Norris’ bed, publish the below for all the world to see. We do not forgive. We do not forget.

We are anonymous.

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Hey $HOWTIME:

It’s 8 PM – do you know where your cup is??